Why Grace and Courtesy Is Part Of The Montessori Curriculum
Alison Petersen • April 3, 2024

Grace and Courtesy

If you are just beginning to learn about Montessori education, you've probably heard the phrase grace and courtesy. You may be wondering why we go out of our way to identify it as something special. Simply put, grace and courtesy is all about helping children to understand polite social norms.


As a Montessori school, we understand that even very young children are capable of much more than is traditionally expected of them. For example, you might picture a preschool classroom in which children are running around or shouting loudly if they are excited. After all, children of 3 or 4 years of age can't be expected to have mastered such behaviors yet, right?


If you were to observe children of the same age in a Montessori classroom, this would not be the case. Just as with any other skill, Montessori children are taught how to behave appropriately. This is not to say that they are never allowed to run around and be loud, outdoor playtime is a perfectly suitable environment for those behaviors. They have simply learned that the classroom is an environment dedicated to learning and concentration, and they must do their part.


Modeling


Grace and courtesy starts with intentional modeling. Guides are very careful about how they behave in front of the children. When interacting with one another, or when interacting with a child, they are always thinking about showing the children what they hope to see mirrored.


If the guide expects the children not to shout across the classroom, she will not do so herself. When managing a classroom full of children this can be challenging at times, but we understand that the children are always watching us and learning from our behaviors.


Adults in a Montessori school are always very careful not to interrupt a child's work. They have a deep respect for the child's autonomy, but they are also aware of the power of their modeling. When adults refuse to interrupt a child's work, the children learn the importance of doing the same.


Lessons


Aside from  modeling, Montessori guides give lessons to explicitly teacher grace and courtesy. They will show the child step by step how a certain behavior or activity is done. Here are just a few of these types of lessons a child might receive:

  • How to greet one another
  • How to welcome a visitor
  • How to to get a teacher's attention without interrupting
  • How to listen in a conversation
  • How to walk carefully around the classroom
  • How to follow directions
  • How to resolve a social conflict
  • How to unobtrusively observe another's work
  • How to hold a door for someone
  • How to use polite words such as a phrase, thank you, excuse me, etc.



Curious to see grace and courtesy practiced in the classroom? Schedule a tour today!

By Alison Petersen September 5, 2025
Starting school marks an important milestone for both children and their parents. Transitioning into a Montessori environment—with its distinctive approach to learning—can bring a mix of excitement and uncertainty. At Pincushion Hill Montessori School, we’re committed to helping families navigate this change with confidence and ease. Talk About What to Expect Children tend to feel more at ease when they know what’s coming. Take some time to talk with your child about what a typical day at a Montessori school might be like. Let them know they'll have the freedom to choose activities that interest them and that they'll be learning alongside children of different ages. Explain that their teachers—often called guides—are there to support their learning and exploration, not just give directions. You might say something like: “You’ll start the day by saying hello to your teacher and friends, then you can pick something fun to work on—maybe building with blocks or practicing writing. Sometimes you’ll work alone, and other times you’ll do things with others.” Encourage Independence at Home Montessori education places a strong emphasis on independence. To help your child adjust smoothly, start encouraging independence at home. Simple tasks like getting dressed, putting away toys, or helping set the table can boost their confidence. When children realize they can do things on their own, they’re better prepared for the choices and responsibilities they’ll encounter in the classroom. These kinds of activities also reflect the Montessori idea of “learning by doing,” which is at the heart of the method. Create a Consistent Routine Routines help children feel safe and lower anxiety during new experiences. In the weeks leading up to the first day, try to follow a consistent morning schedule—waking up at the same time, having a healthy breakfast, and getting dressed on their own. You can also involve your child in getting ready the night before by letting them choose their outfit and pack their school bag. Talking about what they’re excited for the next day can also build a sense of anticipation and comfort. These small routines help foster responsibility and a smooth start to each school day. Get Ready Emotionally, Too Starting school is a big step—not just for your child, but for you as well. It’s completely normal to feel a mix of emotions: pride, nervousness, maybe even a little sadness. Keep in mind that your child is likely to sense your mood, so staying calm and positive can help reassure them. If you’re feeling uneasy, remind yourself of the many benefits of Montessori education—its focus on nurturing independence, curiosity, and a love of learning. Trust in the process, and in the guides who are there to support your child as they begin this new adventure.
By Alison Petersen August 22, 2025
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